Hello, my name is Erin, and I'll be taking care of you today. Have you been in a restaurant before? No? OK.
Before I start working on your requests, I'd like to share one of my own. It's just a small one. For the good of humanity, or at least those of us who are working as waitstaff, I would like to ask that should you find yourself in a restaurant, burning with an overwhelming desire to refer to your server in third person, you kindly refrain.
Two things happen when your server is forced to listen to things like, "See if she will get you another Coke," or "She needs to bring us more ranch dressing," for the duration of the meal. One, it makes your server feel like (s)he should be wearing a tutu and performing some sort of show, to be rewarded by tasty morsels (perhaps peanuts?) tossed by the audience. (I would imagine this is akin to what it feels like to be the proverbial circus bear.) Two, it makes him/her a lot less inspired to bring you Coke and/or ranch dressing quite as quickly as (s)he normally would.
Thank you, and I hope you enjoy your meal.
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2 comments:
Oh man...that nursing career is too far away some days....
Isn't it too bad that you can't really say some of those things? Some people really need an education.
Sometimes I accidentally do say these things. You see, when I'm tired, I tend to lose my inner monologue. Once, I had two ladies who were quite rude for the entire meal. At the end of the meal, when I asked if they needed anything else, one of them growled, "Cheesecake." I meant to just think, "Cheesecake, PLEASE," but accidentally (Freudian slip?) said it out loud. They both looked at me, shocked, and then meekly repeated, "Cheesecake, please." They then proceeded to thank me profusely, and leave me a 20% tip. But you're right - August '09 cannot be here soon enough.
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