Because being a ballerina isn't realistic...

I have exciting news, everyone.

At the age of 27, I finally know what I want to do when I grow up.

I've had quite the variety of jobs. I've even liked some of them. But I've never really come home at the end of the day just glowing because I've changed someone's life for the better. I've provided you with the following sample of My Crazy Resumé, just in case you were worried that I hadn't tried out enough jobs before reaching a conclusion on my future.

*Entry person at Sedgwick Co. Zoo. I sold tickets, and memberships, and was responsible for closing the front gates if Something escaped. Which happened more than once. Ask me. I'll tell you stories.

*Retail sales at Hallmark. This required a lot of dusting, and an insane amount of enthusiasm for angel figurines and Beanie Babies. And dusting. Did I mention dusting?

*KSU's infamous Van Zile Dining Center. I cooked, believe it or not. And provided candid opinions of what the main course was really like that day, and wore a really cheesy hat. (Speaking of cheese - the theme for our Holiday Dinner my freshman year was Harry Potter. I remember this because the VZDC employees were forced to construct a replica of Hogwart's out of cubes of cheddar cheese. Not kidding.)

*Wonder/Hostess bakery in Denver, CO. I learned to make ginormous batches of WonderBread and snack cakes, developed ferocious arm muscles from lifting the snack cake pans (each one weighs about 30 lbs.) and realized that I never, never want to spend 8 hours a day hand-packing gem donuts. (Yes, they're packaged by hand. Ask me. I'll tell you stories.)

*Wonder/Hostess research and development lab in K.C. Changed the icing formulation for Honey Buns to decrease moisture loss. Developed a flavor profile for the Raspberry Zingers (in stores now!) and Hostess Apple Spice Cupcakes. (Please do not blame me for the company's bankruptcy. I TRIED to tell them that while raspberry IS one of the more upper-crust artificial fruit flavors, Raspberry Zingers still do not qualify as a "sophisticated snack.")

*Beach Museum of Art. I greeted visitors cheerfully, answered questions, and made sure no one took pens into the galleries. I basically got paid to study and look at art. Using this blog to kill time? Check out Dieu Donné papermill, Dale Chihuly, and Patrick Dougherty!

* American Institute of Baking. Technical Information Coordinator. (Yes, it abbreviates to "TIC.") I put helped put together nutrition labels for different food products, and (briefly) edited a technical bulletin. My first big-kid job!

* Osborn & Barr Communications, a.k.a. O&B, a.k.a. Obliterate and Belittle. I wrote advertising copy ("tomorrow's trash!") for John Deere. We (by "we," I mean me and my designer) put out roughly 3,000 ads in 6 months. I burned out after roughly 3 months. I was laid off one year to the day after I was hired, and on the same day that I'd planned to give my two weeks' notice.

"Here's this severance package!" they said.
"I'll just tear up my two weeks' notice!" I said.

Actually, I just thought it. Then I reveled in the joy of that timing for months.

*I've also held various and sundry serving jobs, working everywhere from a Cajun restaurant to a college bar to the Cheesecake Factory.

Which brings me to where I am now. Nursing school. Anyone who reads this blog, talks to me on a semi-regular basis, or bumps into me on the street when I'm in a good mood (97% of the time, or when I'm awake) knows that I am starting nursing school in January. And after orientation yesterday, I could not be more excited. (I always think I couldn't be more excited. Then I get more excited.)

We heard about working in the neonatal ICU. (WE GET TO WORK WITH BABIES!) They talked about working in the Emergency Room. (WE GET TO WORK ON EMERGENCIES!) They told us what it's like to give an antibiotic via suppository for the first time. (WE GET TO SHOVE MEDICATIONS UP...never mind. That was further down on the list of things I'm excited about.)

Throughout my many and varied career experiences, one thing was always the same - I may not have gone home glowing because I successfully reformulated the Honey Bun mix, but I always went home happy when I could help Eddie Ray (his real name) figure out why his ads weren't running in the scheduled time slots, or when my tables left me notes saying that I'd made their day more special, or when someone was so appreciative that I could giftwrap their purchase after closing time on Christmas Eve.

You get the idea. It's corny. And it's a cliché. But I really, really like helping people. And now, I get to do it for a living! They're going to PAY ME to wear scrubs and geek out about new developments in microbiology! I get to hold babies! And hold hands! And yeah, I know there are going to be days when things are sloppy, and disgusting, and I'm going to come home with puke on my Pumas. But it's gonna be worth it. Because I am going to save lives, people! I'm going to save LIVES!

You can just call me Future Nurse Erin, The Overly Excited B.S.N.-to-be.